Welcome to our family blog, Living Aloha! We are a military family stationed on the island of Oahu, literally living in paradise! This blog is for our family and friends so that we can share our experience with our loved ones.
Well yesterday the resident baby of the family turned four! I can't believe it's been four years, it goes by so fast, doesn't it? We had a small celebration, just me and the boys. Cake and presents are all that was required as far as Mikey was concerned!
Very exhausting for mommy, but the smiles were well worth it! The last gift was a dragon castle, very cool with growling and roaring noises, flashing lights, and gnashing dragon teeth! Mikey and the boys had a blast playing knights and dragons with this last night.
And of course the best part of birthdays? Going to sleep and waking up to new toys! Mikey's been playing all morning :)
Today I had a meeting with a *wonderful* woman. Her name is Dr. P, and she is a naturopathic holistic physician who is also a midwife. She has two offices, one in town (Honolulu) and one in Haleiwa. She agreed to meet with me at the North Shore office this afternoon.
I drove to Haleiwa, which is an old historic surfing town. I haven't had much of a chance to explore it, but I love even just driving through it! Today there were tons of people enjoying the gorgeous weather and tall waves.
The office itself is set way back behind the town on some overgrown land. There were a few houses and small buildings, and I had a hard time finding it at first. It's a very tiny building, literally a little hut. As I drove up and parked, so did Dr. P. She immediately got out and embraced me, kissing me on the cheek. I immediately felt at peace with her.
We walked to the tiny building, past orange and papaya trees. We removed our shoes and walked inside. I sat on the little futon couch across from Dr. P and we chatted. As we did, I noticed the cool air and Hawaiian breeze coming through the screened windows. It was so peaceful and quiet! Geckos chirped and one even jumped from the ceiling to the desk as we talked. It startled me but I wasn't scared. Dr. P laughed and said the office belongs to the lizards when no one's here. LOL!
And so we talked. For a good 45 minutes. I told her everything about the kind of birth experience I was looking for, and she actually listened! We discussed my previous births and the current pregnancy. She was such an easygoing, down-to-earth soul...I enjoyed listening to her speak and was thrilled that she cared enough to listen. It was just a great experience. She agreed to take me as a homebirth client and my heart sang!
As we parted she again kissed me on the cheek, and Mikey and I stepped out into the sunshine and slipped our shoes on. As we walked back to the car I pointed out the fruits growing on the trees all around. It was so nice!
So I'm feeling 1000 times better about this birth, and so much more relaxed that I don't have to worry about Tripler at all. Nor do I have to go the unassisted route. She's agreed to be hands-off during labor and birth, only coming to me when I need her. It's more than I could have asked for. I cannot wait for our first "official" appointment, which will be on Saturday, Jan. 30th.
Huge thanks to my former midwife Dotti for emailing me about Dr. P! It was a perfect match!
So after a horrendous appointment at Tripler, I came home knowing it would be unassisted childbirth for me. The moment I walked in the building I started having a panic attack...the place is like a giant indoor city. I made my way to the OBGYN clinic by following the ugly brown signs, and went through the double doors. There I was met by a row of cubicles and a number machine. Ugh...please take a number. I guess that's how they check you in. So I took my number but was the only one standing there so I checked in right away. ID please, ma'm. Fill out this paper and sign. Take this folder and drop it in the box by the door. Next!
I grumbled my way to the huge waiting area. Ugly and gray with stained chairs and about 20 women in various states of womanhood. Nurses periodically came through the door and called patients. My skin crawled.
Finally they called me, and I followed my nurse who was obviously in a hurry down the hall. We went into a tiny room and she took my weight. Then she struck up a lively conversation...with the other staff member in the room. How rude, I thought.
She led me back to an even tinier exam room, and instructed me to remove my clothes and put the gown on. I told her I didn't want the PAP, I've already had one. The nurse looked at me like I had just told her to go jump off a bridge. "Well, well I'll just have to ask the doctor about that." Fine. Be my guest. I kept my clothes on.
The doctor came in five minutes later. Call me old-fashioned, but I just don't like it when my doctors are younger than I am. I'm only 31 for crying out loud. She looked like she was in her mid-twenties. She went over my OB history and medical history, then asked if there was anything else she should know about me. I laid it out in no uncertain terms that I did not want to be there. I told her how I felt about hospitals and birth in general, and especially how I felt about not having another cesarean. She was pleasant enough, I'll give her that and chalk it up to her inexperience with patients like me. She left the room to "discuss" my preference for a VBAC with the other OB's. I contemplated my exit while I waited.
When she came back, she told me she "thinks" she could get the other doctors to agree to let me have a VBA2C, however I would have to have continuous monitoring, including internal (ie the screw a monitor into the baby's scalp), etc. etc. It was all I could do not to run out right then and there...thanks but no thanks! She then told me if I really wanted a VBA2C, there would have to be some compromises on my part. Um, no. I don't think so. I understand when things need to be done a certain way because the situation demands it, however I will not walk into my birth knowing I have to make compromises already.
The kicker was her closing question: So when are you due? Uh...what?! Aren't you supposed to know that or figure that out on your own? Am I seriously about to tell the woman who is supposed to be my DOCTOR when I'm due? I told her, August 12th. "Oh!" she says. "I won't be here anyway!"
Forehead slap.
Sigh. At least I did get a peek at the baby, and a picture to keep. It looks like a kidney bean, but it's my kidney bean. I walked out of that hospital with a determination like I've never had before. You will have to drag me, kicking and screaming and clawing to get me to step foot in that hospital when I'm in labor. I decided then and there, unassisted birth was the most appealing option at this point. I can't find a midwife (there just aren't very many here) and I refuse to be seen at Tripler. I formed a plan as to how I would approach Mike, this is the way our baby is determined to be born.
I came home and started researching UC (unassisted childbirth) online. I had looked at a few different sites when I was expecting Mikey, so I know a little bit about it. The more I read, the more I decided this was the birth for me. Amazingly enough, when I approached Mike with the idea, he was supportive and agreed that Tripler was not the place for our baby to be born.
At the same time I was researching more on UC, I received an email from my midwife in Colorado with the name of a naturopathic physician who does homebirths. I put a call out to her yesterday, and got a call back today. I will go meet with her on Sunday up at the North Shore office. I'm excited to meet with her, but I'm not sure what I will ultimately decide. The idea of UC is so appealing right now, especially with my husband's support.
I guess time will tell...I know I have plenty of that. The good news is, I don't have to worry about Tripler at all.
Mike left yesterday for school in Georgia. He'll be gone for six weeks. Sigh. Seems like he just got home! So once again I'm flying solo, only this time I've got morning sickness like nothing I've had before. It's exhausting to say the least, especially when three boys require constant monitoring. Still, I'll get through it with gritted teeth and a forced smile, because that's what us military wives do. Oh you're leaving again, honey? No problem! (sizzle sizzle pop) I'm getting too old for this! In other news I'm now 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant. And feeling every bit of the blueberry-sized baby nestled within. I am so nauseous, I don't remember feeling this way with the boys (though I'm sure I'm just forgetful). Of course, I ain't no spring chicken anymore either...this havin' babies stuff is for the birds.
